Thesis Blog: Midnight Reflections

It’s 12:14 a.m. and I am JOYously editing footnotes to my integrative project. I’m 20 pages in, baby.*

I’m at that point where I know I could just turn the damn** thing in and call it a night (it’s due in a week). But I won’t. I will carry on.

This is where I’m at: the “meat” of the paper is about done. I’m wanting to add this section about Sarah Worth, the heroine in S., because she is one of those characters you can’t help but love and, in some ways, want to be. (Also: it totally fits with my thesis, I swear.) Then I’ve got to conclude the thing by looking to the present/future–then I’ll be done.


What I’ve realized in all of this is twofold:

1. I love Updike just as much as I did in July when I picked my topic. Truthfully, I may love him more. He is a master at fiction. He writes these sentences that you can’t even imagine someone came up with. Good¬†lord!¬†

2. I love Augustine waaaaay more than I thought I would! Chelle, I think, or someone somewhere mentioned that we should be reading not only those we love in grad school and for our papers. We should be reading those we disagree with. I still don’t agree with much of what Augustine says, especially regarding sexuality and free will–but, he is someone I’ve learned to love as a writer, as a messy human, and as a companion to Updike.

So I’m happy, despite this not being all that I want it to be–yet. Because there’s time. There are a few more books to read. A few more Updike quotes to throw in. Wink.

*I really wanted to write BITCHES! but that seemed a tad less scholarly/theological than what this blog deserves. So.

** Swearing happens occasionally.

*** But seriously, it needs a lot of editing and a lot of additions.

About Lauren Sawyer

I am a Ph.D. student studying social ethics in New Jersey. I love coffee, rainy days, and John Updike. Learn more about me at